Beyond the Sun
by LadyNoreh
Summary: Was it out there for Jacob, too? Something that would trump a soul mate? I had to believe it was." Post Eclipse: Consumed by Bella's rejection, Jacob runs... straight to his own imprinting.
1. Tearstains and CouldHaveBeens

Disclaimer which shall apply to the entire story (I'll only say it once): Original characters and the F150 (in real life, a Mark LT) belong to me (actually, the truck is a company vehicle). Everything else belongs to their respective owners. I'm just playing with the characters and make no money from this story. Many thanks to Stephanie Meyer for giving us her wonderful books! No copyright infringement intended. The first intro into Jacob's POV is an excerpt from the end of Eclipse. Really, I own nothing except the computer on which I type.

Title Song: Beyond the Sun by Shinedown

Song for the beginning: Bittersweet by Apocalyptica featuring H.I.M. and the Rasmus  
Song for later: Shed Some Light by Shinedown  
Chapter title from Written in Blood by She Wants Revenge  
(Sorry,I can't help pairing music with my writing)

Chapter One - Tearstains and Could-Have-Beens:

I was calm. Of that much, at least, I was certain. I always got that way when things went completely upside down. Calm at the front, steady through the storm, the rock for all involved and then once the crisis ended, I'd slide off in the shadows to fall apart. Now, however, was not the time for falling apart.

Not when I had a _very_ strange man sitting in the passenger seat of my truck.

--

Highway 165 wound through the foothills, past tiny towns with nothing more than a tavern and a gas station and finally all the way up to Mount Rainier National Park. At night hardly a soul was ever seen once Evans Creek, the ORV (Off Road Vehicle) part of the park was closed. This made it my favorite place in the world, away from the bothersome city lights, the pollution, and most of all the population. I loved to be alone, just me and the trees sharing the beautiful night sky.

It was a particularly bright night, the moon shining so fierce I hardly needed headlights to see. As tempting as it was to be wild and drive dark, I kept my lights on. I jumped at every rustle and funny shaped clump of grass enough as it was. There were animals a-plenty in the woods and I had no desire to have a deer imprint in the front of my baby; a lifted, supercharged F150 that I'd built myself.

It was this very paranoia of deer splattering that shed light, as it were, on a terrifying sight I'd not encountered before.

In the trees straight ahead, at the beginning of the next curve, was a large - something - that on first assumption I'd thought to be a bear. Logically I knew that bones and fur and roar were no match for steel and supercharger and 37 inch tires, but that didn't prevent my heart from attempting suicide by nearly climbing out of my chest. I couldn't take my eyes off of it.

As I looked, confusion warred with fear. The beast I saw was ragged and yet… still eerily beautiful. Dirty reddish-brown fur covered perfectly formed muscle, all of which was clearly visible in the light from my high beams. I'd never seen a bear in real life, but I'd seen enough pictures to know that if this _was_ a bear, there was something wrong with it. It shuddered, in obvious pain and fatigue, never once seeming to notice me or my own metal beast (surprising since the thing was far too loud _not _to notice, especially in the silence of the woods) and thudded to the ground, unmoving further.

Curiosity won out over self preservation and I shut my high beams off and slowed the truck down to a stop. Still with a death grip on the steering wheel and my foot poised on the gas, ready to run should the need arise.

My mind worked in overtime, imagining all sorts of scenarios, from gruesome to absurdly weird, but as fast as my thoughts ran, they stopped even quicker when the animal/bear/thing suddenly twitched, and turned into a human. A very large, very male, very _naked,_ human. That was, I decided, the strangest thing I'd ever seen. Odd that it didn't seem to bother me more.

_Do something, _my heart whispered. Mentally I agreed with myself, pulled the truck to the edge of the road nearest him and threw it into park.

My body barely registered the fact that I was running until I stopped just shy of him. Cautiously this time, I tiptoed forward, not wanting to surprise him if he was coherent. I reached out and touched his shoulder, startling myself when I felt the warmth of his skin; illogical given the coolness of the evening air. Feeling silly, I reminded myself, _Strange shape-shifter/star trek reject… remember?_

I reached out again, this time pressing my hand to his chest. I felt his inhalation, faint but existent, and felt reassured. Pulling away I whispered, "Hello?" My voice sounded awkward to my own ears.

A pitiful whimper answered me. "Bella?"

"Close I guess, but no…" I responded, "Beth. I'd like to help you, if you're agreeable to that."

As I studied the inert form, I weighed my options. It didn't take long to determine a course of action and I organized my plan into clearly defined steps. Step One: Providing it was possible given our size difference, get him into the truck. My cell didn't have good reception in the mountains and it would be faster to drive him down the hill than to wait for an ambulance. Besides, what would I say to the paramedics? _"Sorry, I don't know what's wrong with him either. Maybe ask a vet?"_ I mocked to myself.

"You'll have to help me a little," I said. "I'm not a wimp, but you're twice as tall as me. No way am I getting you all the way to the truck by myself."

With a reassuring groan from him, I stooped down and wrapped one of his arms around my shoulders. "On three, okay?" I counted out loud.

My legs gave all they had on the rise up, which was good because if they'd had any less, we wouldn't have made it upright. He was easily more than a foot taller than my own five foot three, and weighed in my estimation half a ton. On top of it all he was shaking with exhaustion and possibly an illness of some sort (something I hoped wasn't contagious).

Step One was completed with one final, labored step and an awkward half pull, half shove into the passenger seat. In this case it was fortunate he was so tall, he compensated for the height of the truck.

Step Two: Get into the truck myself. This step I hardly had to plan, already closing the door before I fully processed the train of thought.

Step Three: Drive home.

--

_I was running before I hit the trees, my clothes strewn out behind me like a trail of crumbs – as if I wanted to find my way back. It was almost too easy now to phase. I didn't have to think. My body already knew where I was going and, before I asked it to, it gave me what I wanted._

_I had four legs and I was flying._

_The trees blurred into a sea of black flowing around me. My muscles bunched and released in an effortless rhythm. I could run like this for days and I would not be tired. Maybe, this time, I wouldn't stop._

However long I'd run, however far, it wasn't enough. My anger bound me to my wolf form. It was all I dared to trust. Wind and trees stung in place of the tears I couldn't cry while phased and gratefully, the sun hid from me behind layers of clouds. At the first nightfall, I was glad for the darkness and ran recklessly, lost in movement.

Maybe it _was_ days; the daylight rose and fell, and the darkness shrouded me again and again until my fur was matted with bits of forest, held together with the rain that beat down in typical Washington fashion.

It was almost a relief when the clouds dissipated. Since I'd left home, I'd been in solitude with the forest, but now the moon joined us in a perfect trio. I howled my rage to her – my unearthly cries echoing until my throat protested and I ran out of breath. I fought fatigue – kept running long past energy was gone, until running was automatic.

Rage turned to a bitterness that shook my bones and the hole in my chest scraped, raw and bleeding with every heartbeat. My legs shook with the strain of exertion, forced me to slow to a walk until I gave into absolute exhaustion some time later, and finally fell.

I didn't have the energy to be angry anymore. Taunted by the nearing blackness of unconsciousness, my body phased into my human form without considering the source of the new hum in the background or the scent of another, a girl, nearby. Her soft "Hello?" reached through the weary fog of my mind.

"Bella?" I knew it couldn't be her, the scent was wrong, but I wished with all my heart I was wrong.

"No…" she responded and I acknowledged, accepting, not listening for further explanation.

Somehow she either managed to convince me to stand or hauled me up by sheer force of will, then slowly led the way to the source of the hum; which had become a distant presence in the back of my skull.

We drove, and I heard her voice faintly but was too far gone to hear more than snippets, "… at my house. It isn't far," I processed during moments of some clarity, "unless you need a doctor?"

This question was enough to prod my defenses and I apparently managed to adequately convey my disgust.

"Guess not," she murmured at my shudder of dissatisfaction.

She was right though, about home not being far, because it wasn't long before I heard the engine cease and the consistent forward motion of the truck halt.

"I'll be right back with a blanket. It's dark, but I don't suppose my neighbors would appreciate seeing you starkers."

She shut the door and I deliberated whether or not a more comfortable place to sleep was worth putting of the bliss of being passed out. Before my lethargic brain cells could decide, the door I was comfortably leaning on clicked open. Something wonderfully warm and fuzzy tucked under my arms, and wrapped around me.

"Come on," the warmth of her voice encouraged. "You'll sleep better inside."

She was right. I knew she was, and suddenly having her there comforted me, motivated me out of the truck, up to the door, and finally into the house. We stalled for a moment near the couch before she turned and led me down towards a door at the far end of the hallway.

It was a relief when the bed came into view, and I fell on top of the covers still holding the blanket she'd gotten around me.

The last thing I heard was, "You won't fit on the couch, so crash on the bed. I'll be right near if you need anything."

--

I had a _very_ strange man sitting in my passenger seat. I'd always relied heavily on my instinct, it had never steered me wrong about a person yet, but somehow… this one was different than anyone I'd met before. _And not just because of the whole sci-fi thing either,_ my brain interjected. It was almost as if I'd found someone I'd known all along, even though they weren't there before. _Very strange, _I thought.

I glanced over at him. He was currently half slumped onto the door, still very much naked, which didn't really bother me any, but certainly would be a source of much embarrassment (I assumed) for him should he wake up. It took a bit of twisting, but I managed to get my sweater off and draped over his lap.

"I don't really know where to take you," I paused and chewed thoughtfully on my lower lip, "so you can stay at my house. It isn't far from here. Fifteen minutes maybe? Depends on how far up the mountain we are. I just live over in Enumclaw anyway. Unless you need a doctor first?"

I wasn't sure he'd heard anything I'd said, I was mainly just talking to make noise, but his nose scrunched up and he made a decidedly aghast noise.

"Guess not," I murmured, unsurprised.

I kept quiet after that, even though my mind was racing. Who was he? What was that stunt he did with the shape-shifting? _Plenty of time to ask him later_, I supposed, _provided he doesn't die on me._ That thought was more than uncomfortable, and I kept a closer eye on him.

Highway 165 hit Highway 410, which took us straight to Enumclaw. It wasn't more than a handful of minutes later until I turned down the familiar residential street that led to my driveway. Past the quaint older houses, all well kept and mostly all owned by retirement age folks. My own house was much the same, originally bought by my grandparents and inherited by my father when they died. He didn't have a use for the house, but it was owned outright so it was given to me. "Much better than dealing with a room-mate, Sugar," my dad had said.

I'd never been more grateful for that than just now.

My driveway came into view and I pulled in and shut off the truck. "I'll be right back with a blanket," I told him. "It's dark, but I don't suppose my neighbors would appreciate seeing you starkers."

He didn't even twitch.

I came back a moment later, as promised, with a blanket and carefully eased the door he was using as a pillow open. I lifted his arms and eased the blanket under them, and then took him in an almost-hug, leaning him forward so I could ease the blanket behind him. He sighed into my arms, and my heart tugged uncomfortably. _Stop that! _I insisted.

"Come on," I prodded. "You'll sleep better inside."

Getting out of the truck wasn't nearly as bad as getting in and it wasn't long before we were standing in the entryway. I debated, couch or bed? Shaking my head, it wasn't really a question at all given his size. I headed down the hallway.

He didn't need any encouragement to find the bed once we reached the room. "You won't fit on the couch, so crash on the bed. I'll be right near if you need anything."

If he was beautiful, although sad, as a creature, he was breathtaking as a man. His copper skin contrasted with my pale hand as I touched his cheek and reached up to feel his silky, dark hair. He was even taller than I'd thought, all stretched out and hanging off both ends of the bed.

I sat gingerly on the bed and tried to convince myself that I was just being a Good Samaritan, being motherly, being… anything at all that made it reasonable that I should feel _anything_ for someone I didn't even know. It was absurd how much it hurt me to see him, the shadows under his eyes speaking loudly of the pain he was in. I shouldn't want to hold him in my arms to soothe the ache in my own chest, an ache that twisted into my throat every time I looked at him.

Good grief. I was ridiculous. _Here I am, _I berated myself, _worrying over him like some lovesick teenager when the most I should be is clinically detached! This can't be right; maybe his powers include some kind of… love potion no. 9 effect._

Vaguely comforted by a conclusion that cleared me of any insanity; I stood and made my way in the dark toward the kitchen. When he woke up he'd in all likelihood be hungry and since he was so warm, probably dehydrated too. Filling a glass with water was a normal, perfectly fine task and I set to it with more vigor than usual; I was determined to not get attached, despite whatever weird powers he might come with.

I needed to keep strong. Crisis wasn't over yet, I was still needed. What _I_ needed were my Steps. _And now I sound like an addict._

Step Four: Get water. It was an easily done task, if not for the horrible noises that suddenly emitted from the direction of the occupant of my thoughts. My skin prickled at the sound, and the glass of water was instantly forgotten in my hand.

It was again the moonlight, perfectly tracing his figure on the bed, which led me to witness this newest breakdown. No longer prone but curled on his side, large hands fisting over his chest.

The sound he made was oddly wolf like, a keening howl that prickled my skin and wrenched that odd tug in my heart. I climbed onto the bed behind him and clumsily slid one arm under his head and one around his chest, covering his large fist with my own small hand.

"Shh," I whispered as I held him. Something under his skin rippled and I imagined it was his pain. I pressed my face into his back and held on, willing him to use me as his rock. The crisis was far from over it seemed.

For hours, I stayed with him. Long after my extremities had gone to sleep and a crick formed in my neck. Still he cried and still I held on. Even as he shook, his other hand covered mine, clinging desperately to me as if I really were an anchor. Moonlight broke into dawn before finally his breath evened out and he drifted to sleep.

--

Sleep was unexpected. After longing for the bliss of unconsciousness, I didn't expect to fall right into a _normal_ sleep. Possibly I was just too exhausted to think about _her_ but in any case, I didn't fear the dreams that would come. Later of course, I would regret that.

In the back of my mind I knew my mystery woman was still there, felt her hand on my head, felt the comfort and was glad for it, whoever she was and whatever it meant. She must have left at some point because as quickly as the unidentified calm came, it went with her just as fast.

Nightmares stole my sleep in stages, first with Bella's name, then with Edward's. Both of them together… and then Bella _dead_. Standing alone on our stretch of beach, her skin cold and hard, her scent sickly sweet. _"I'm sorry, Jacob," she mouthed. "It's for the best. I'm happy this way. Edward and I will have forever. You and I would have only had a lifetime."_ The dream Bella grated the already raw wounds and I clutched my chest as if it were a physical pain.

Someone was making a horrible noise, and it wasn't until reassuring arms went around me that I realized it was _me_. Even knowing, I couldn't stop. Couldn't muster the energy to run again, my body wouldn't even phase. All that was left were tears. A hand covered mine and I focused on it; used it as a rock to anchor myself as I swam through my pain like a river.

She'd brought the comfort back with her and slowly it took over, lulling me back to sleep as the first tendrils of light crept over the blankets.

End of Chapter One

If you've made it this far, thank you. Please leave an honest review! Constructive criticism is welcomed.


	2. Ride the Whims of Your Mind

Huge, monstrous sized thanks to my beta Renaissance. Half of this chapter is a result of her brilliant questioning. Without her, you'd be getting a way less cool chapter.

Song for the title and for the chapter: Silent Lucidity by Queensryche  
Please listen to it. It's fantastic and perfectly fitting for this chapter.

Chapter Two: Ride the whims of your mind

It was just past 8:30 the next morning when I pried myself off the bed and made my way toward the phone.

"Good morning, Lake's Auto Repair. How may I direct your call?" The receptionist's familiar, detached voice answered.

"Morning Gen, it's Beth." I replied. "Can you send me through to my dad?"

Gen's voice warmed considerably. "Sure thing hon. Hang on." Elevator music filled the line, and I studied the kitchen wall while I waited.

"Robert Lake speaking," my father's voice answered.

"Morning dad," I smiled into the receiver. "I have a favor to ask."

"Morning Sugar," was his upbeat reply. "What do you need?"

"Well," I hemmed, "I've got some vacation saved up, and I'm not really needed until Monday… any chance I can get a couple days off? I'm feeling a little fried after last week. I can still work some from home too, if you need."

I chewed on my lip but waited in silence for him to contemplate my request.

"It shouldn't be a problem at all. Last week really was hell."

I sent mental thanks in the general direction of up. "Thanks dad. Call me and let me know if anything comes up. I'll just be at the house. Love you."

"Love you too, sugar. Get some sleep, you sound tired."

I really _was_ tired. It'd been a heck of a night but _he _was finally sleeping soundly, which was something to be thankful for; it gave me a chance to step back and review everything that'd happened. It wasn't every day I came across a bizarre _something _that ended up breaking apart emotionally on my bed. For now, though, I was more than happy to leave him to his sleep. I needed a shower.

Walking back down the hallway, I wrinkled my nose at the sour smell of my shirt. I smelled like sweat and tears, a miserable combination. One last check on my strange guest and then I made my way to the bathroom.

The crisis, with all of its variables and unknowns, might not be completely over yet, but now seemed like the perfect time to fall apart a little. A hot, relaxing shower was exactly what I needed.

Even as I went through the motions of my daily routine, I felt weak from the loss of adrenaline and the calm that had been in my emotional forefront since the whole strange evening had begun. Without an anchor, my thoughts swirled and twisted until they were so convoluted with half-imaginings that I started to get light headed until I realized I hadn't been breathing regularly.

I sucked in air by the lungful until I calmed down.

The night before the most I'd been worried about was the presence of deer and the possibility of meeting one head-on in my truck. Today, I was worried I was losing my mind. Even more than that, I was worried about a stranger that I had no business worrying about.

There was no logical explanation for his shape shifting that I could think of. Now, I'd read enough fiction to know that moonlight plus furry beast-man equals… werewolf. The thought had barely registered before I snorted in derision. _That's _definitely_ not logical._ I rested my head on the cool wall of the shower, hoping to shock some sense into my poor unhinged brain. It didn't help.

I ran through my memories of the night before scene by scene hoping for a revelation. Nothing had changed. Each image was burned into my mind, certainly no hallucination. It would have made things easier if it had all been a dream but no such luck for me. I could remember every time I'd touched him and the corresponding twinge in my chest.

I remembered the awful gut-wrenching cries too… my eyes welled up and spilled over before I could stop them. I swallowed hard and rinsed my face in the shower spray.

Even if I had imagined the werewolf bit I still had no explanation for why I felt such an unnatural pull towards this stranger. The uncomfortable wrench every time I looked at him touched him or thought about him leaving worried me. Shouldn't I have _some_ control over own heart? The emotional upheaval he had me in was so surprising and strange I doubted it could have come from me.

I wasn't sure if it helped or made it worse that he was beautiful. _Now there's a train of thought I'm _not _taking. _Despite my decision, my thoughts continued. _Maybe all this magnetism is just an insane physical attraction._ I tried to be pleased at that thought instead of bothered by it.

Now I _really_ need my steps. I need to organize and plan, stop living in dreamland.

Step One of the new plan, simple. Finish shower.

The water had turned cold and I shivered as I finished. I had an abrupt craving to be warm, the kind of warmth that seeps into your bones.

By the time I was out, dry and redressed in clean clothes, I had a firm hold on my (possibly false) calm. I at least _felt_ prepared for anything.

Running a comb through my shoulder length, wet hair I walked back to the bedroom only to find that a shivering mass had replaced the peaceful sleeper I'd left not twenty minutes before. My forehead creased as I frowned. I sat on the edge of the bed and ran my hand over his shoulder and down his arm.

My fingers burned where they made contact with his skin. I tried to convince myself it was because he was unnaturally warm, not because my heart was reaching out my fingertips…

Softly, I cleared my throat.

Huge dark eyes flew open at the sound and he sat up, towering over me. Mystery man, as I'd taken to calling him in my head, blinked at me first in confusion and then cleared his throat back in response. "So," he said voice thick with sleep. "You," he lifted an eyebrow, puzzled, "found me?" He cleared this throat again and brought one hand up to rub his eyes over the bridge of his nose. "Last night, sorry. I'm a little fuzzy." It was a moment before he spoke again and when he did, his voice sharpened and his gaze turned hostile. "What did you see?"

The aggressive tone took me by surprise. I was caught staring at his eyes; they were dark and deep and made me uncomfortable in a way I didn't have time to think about as they glared down at me.

Oh yes, I knew what he was talking about. But, I wasn't going to get an explanation from that temper so I feigned ignorance. I failed to convince myself that I wasn't hurt at his reaction to me.

I raised my own eyebrows and pursed my lips in defense. "I saw _you_. I stuffed you in my truck. I brought you here. If you like, there's food in the kitchen and a shower down the hall. You can leave through the front door." I twisted my lips and faked surprise. "Oh wait, you don't have any clothes."

He had the decency to look abashed. "I should go."

That irritating tug in my heart was back at the thought of him leaving. Annoyed with myself, I attempted to ignore it. "Don't be ridiculous. Take a shower while I make breakfast. I think I've got some shorts around here you might be able to wear." I stood up from the bed, my false bravado overcome by shyness. "By the way, I don't know if you remember me saying so last night, but I'm Beth."

"Jacob," he replied. "Thanks, I didn't remember." He tried to grin, but it was forced and a more than a little pathetic.

Mystery man - no - _Jacob_, showered while I searched for the pair of my dad's shorts I'd hijacked from him and set to work on breakfast. I was _not_ imagining what he was going to look like in those shorts, or what he looked like out of them. I was _not_.

_Step Two,_ I thought, _don't think about how gorgeous he is. _My mind wandered anyway; he'd be getting in the shower about now... _Obviously that's easier said than done._

--

What time she left in the morning, I wasn't exactly sure. It was somewhere between hazy dreams when I felt her hand slide out of mine and her weight, although somewhat insignificant, leave the mattress. As soon as she did, I felt empty.

The peaceful sleep she'd brought offered no more comfort; only shadows and vague, distant horrors. I was already on edge, and a soft noise snapped me back to the realms of the conscious. My body jerked awake in response, and the sudden sight of the unknown woman's face was more than my sluggish mind could process.

Wet hair that would be blonde when it dried hovered over tiny shoulders, and cool blue eyes –pale, almost as pale as her skin – peered into mine.

Startled, I sat up and shook my head, hoping to clear some of the fog and gain some balance. "So," I said and my voice cracked. I cleared my throat and tried again. "You… found me?" My eyes still weren't cooperating. "Last night, sorry. I'm a little fuzzy."

Suddenly, the events of the past – days? – came sharply back into memory. The fight, being crushed by the evil bloodsucker, being crushed again by _her_, arguing with Leah, _"Come home when you can…"_ It was too much all at once. Still half asleep and unprepared for the onslaught of emotion. I desperately tried to remember more recent events, specifically the ones leading to my presence in this room, this bed, but came up empty. Vaguely I remembered giving up, falling and then… horrified at my next thought I demanded, "What did you see?"

Warm eyes narrowed and her brusque response replaced my panic with embarrassment. "I should go." I said.

She softened visibly and verbally shoved me in the direction of the shower. It wasn't even worthy of consideration. She'd asked me to stay, and staying was preferable to leaving, so I'd stay. At least for the moment; I was too worn out to run again and I didn't want to go back. I wasn't prepared to think about why I felt so _safe_ here or how that was the real basis for my choice.

"I think I've got some shorts around here you might be able to wear," she said as she stood. Her hair moved as she did, and my nose was suddenly full of some scent I couldn't place. _Like rain,_ I thought.

I doubted very much that anything she had would fit but if she had something, I'd wear it. I'd gotten used to being naked for the most part, but the idea of spending however long wearing a blanket like a toga seemed rather uncomfortable.

"By the way," her eyes looked shyly over the carpet, "I don't know if you remember me saying so last night, but I'm Beth."

"Jacob," I replied. "Thanks, I didn't remember." I tried to smile, but it felt alien and forced.

Beth nodded and looked for a moment like she wanted to say something else. She didn't though, just gave a small smile as she turned and walked out of the room.

I didn't understand where the urge to walk after her came from.

I found the bathroom easily enough, and was awake enough by then to be curious about my host. The house wasn't overly feminine, and the bathroom followed suit. Plain, white towels were in a neat stack on the rack above the toilet and the only thing out of place was a bottle of some hair goop that, upon tentative whiff, I figured was the source of the scent I'd smelled on her earlier.

Water washed away all trace of the forest and of the night I'd spent in the arms of a stranger. A stranger that didn't seem so foreign, but rather like I'd known her before, trusted her even though we'd barely met. My mind wandered. I'd let Bella go, to her death no less, and taken off without intending to return.

Before this morning I'd been furious. That unbearable agony had driven me, made me run and now… now I'd run it all out.

While I stood in the water – mostly in the water, the shower head hit the middle of my chest – I felt numb, disconnected. I tried to bring up a strong emotion but couldn't; something was clouding my emotions, twisting things and changing them until there was nothing left I recognized.

I forced myself to picture Bella the way I'd seen her last, walking out of my room and back towards _him_. I braced myself for the onslaught of pain but got only a guilty sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. _She's not mine. I've got no claim on her._

As much as I'd tried to have a claim on her, it hadn't worked. I loved Bella, but she deserved her happiness. _Don't I deserve mine, too?_ The thought was bitter, but there was a tiny bit of hope in it.

"I'll be okay," I whispered, unsure if I said it because it actually was true or because I _needed_ it to be true_._

I used the soap that was on the ledge, glad that it didn't make me smell like a girl. When I was done I stood in the water and tried to clear my mind, find some balance. I focused on the sound of the water, let my mind drift off… and thought of nothing except the comfort I'd felt the night before. A knock on the door brought me back to reality.

"Yeah," I hollered louder than necessary, wincing at the sound.

"I found the shorts and I'm pretty sure they'll fit," was the muffled reply. "I'll leave them outside the door. Breakfast is ready when you are."

Food was good motivation. Hurried along by the incessant growling in my stomach I quickly toweled off and cracked the door open. As promised, a pair of black men's basketball shorts sat neatly folded just outside. I had them on and was halfway into the hall before I wondered _why_ she had men's clothes just laying around. The thought was no more than fleeting and didn't give me a chance to notice that it'd made me frown before it was gone.

The first thing I saw when I entered the kitchen was her very small person crouching on top of the counter, back towards me, digging around in the top shelf of a cupboard and complaining to herself.

Warmth at the ridiculous, yet somehow adorable sight threatened away some of my apathy.

She looked incredibly silly. I walked up until I was standing just behind her, our heads nearly the same height. "Need help?"

Startled, she jumped and let out a yelp. I laughed, more freely this time, and set one hand on her back and one on her shoulder to steady her.

"Sorry," I grinned, "Didn't mean to scare you."

"Right, I'm not scared. Just terrified is all. You mind?" Her voice was shaky through the sarcasm. Beth gestured towards the floor with one hand, a stainless steel teapot in the other.

"Nope." I sidestepped and she jumped down lightly.

"Breakfast is in the dining room, on the table." She pointed as she spoke. "I'll be there in a minute, as soon as I get this going. Let me know if you need me to grab anything."

"Okay," I said and made my way to the dining room. Food couldn't wait any longer; how long had it been since I'd eaten? _I hope she made enough._

--

No way was I going to accomplish Step Two. To be safe, I replaced "_don't think about how gorgeous he is"_ with "cook breakfast." That was simple enough.

The shorts had been easy enough to find. It was fortunate they were clean. I didn't need the added discomfort of us both being awake and, in his case, not passed out, while he was both good looking _and_ naked. _Never would have made Step Two,_ I sighed.

Breakfast was well on its way before I got up the nerve to knock on the bathroom door.

"Yeah?" Jacob shouted though the door.

I held the shorts up and tugged experimentally at the waistband again. My dad was nowhere near as tall as him but he was bigger around. "I found the shorts and I'm pretty sure they'll fit. I'll leave them outside the door. Breakfast is ready when you are." I didn't wait for a response.

Cooking was always an adventure for me. Even with something as simple as ham and eggs I ended up using every single dish available, turning the place into a disaster. On impulse, I decided the morning called for tea. This meant I had to dig the pot out of whichever cupboard I'd hid it in during one of my previous cleaning fits.

Standing on the counter, digging through the cupboard and berating myself for ever hiding the thing in the first place, I didn't even hear him get out of the shower.

I finally had the elusive ware in hand when an unexpected voice directly behind me asked, "Need help?"

Naturally, this scared the figurative pants off me. After an amused laugh from the culprit, two warm hands steadied me even though I was in no danger of falling.

_Good lord,_ my senses worked overtime and my heart fluttered in a way that had nothing to do with my earlier scare. _He smells good. I used the same soap and I know _I _don't smell as good as that._

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you," he said and I could tell he was still smiling. It was definitely an improvement from the night before. It was nice that he was feeling better of course, but the complete one-eighty did surprise me some. Barely 8 hours before I'd found him broken and now here he was, smiling.

It was illogical of course, but after all, _he _is_ male. Emotions never work properly with them._ Apparently my emotions didn't work properly around him either. I'd have to see what I could do about an explanation about his love potion no. 9 bit during breakfast.

Blinking, I stared at him until I realized what I was doing. "Right," I said. "I'm not scared. Just terrified is all. You mind?" I motioned towards the floor.

"Nope," he said as he stepped away. I jumped down and thankfully I landed upright.

He didn't need much encouraging towards the dining room. I stayed behind, filling the teapot and plotting the course my inquisition would take.

When I got to the dining room, he was halfway done eating already. He slowed down considerably when he noticed my raised eyebrow and half smile. Setting down his fork, he reached for a piece of toast.

"This is great, thanks." He said without looking up.

"Not a problem," I replied.

We ate in silence for a moment.

"Really," he started, softly. "Thank you for bringing me here. I would have woken up in the forest, probably fine, but this is infinitely better."

"Which is better?" I asked, joking. "The company or the food?"

He laughed once, and shook his head. "Both."

Pleased warmth snuck up on me at his affirmation and I couldn't keep from smiling.

A comfortable silence stretched out until the whistling of the teapot broke it. I stood and with a polite refusal from him, went and made myself a cup.

"So," I waited a moment after I returned before asking, "Can I see it?"

"See what?"

No way was I ever going to be ready to ask such a crazy question. Without allowing another hesitating thought I asked, "whatever that was you did last night. The twilight zone shape-shifting thing."

I didn't know what answer I hoped for. If I _was_ delusional it would be time to check into a clinic, if not… that was another thing altogether.

He abruptly stiffened and set down his fork. "I can't talk to you about that." His voice was strained.

"I see," I said, even though I didn't really. "So, you can't tell me. Is there a way around that? I'm good at being nosy."

"I'd prefer if you didn't find out." The chill in his voice made my skin itch and my stomach turn.

As sudden as he'd changed moods earlier, he grinned at me.

"Let's not talk about it anymore. That stuff doesn't really matter anyway."

Under the smile I could see the worry, thick and deep, so I grinned back and nodded my consent.

_That stuff_ mattered to me, but illogically so did he and the twist in my heart decided before my mind could disagree; I could wait to learn more.

Annoyed that I couldn't summon up even a teaspoon of caution I sighed and gave up. Common sense apparently wasn't very common in this house. Ignoring the irrationality, I would wait. Maybe the longer I was patient the longer he'd stay here…

Step Three: Let him come to me.

End of Chapter Two

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